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Posts Tagged coffee break
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Hear ye, hear ye! Can ye hear me in the back? Good! This is to announce that my trans-temporal beam-o-scope has completed it’s necessary 1000th oscillation, and  the Weapon Brown reboot will officially commence next Monday!
You long-time fans are about to feel like the chumps of the century, as hundreds, nay dozens of new fans pour into the site and are treated to Weapon Brown four times a week! But don’t think I have forgotten you “classic” Blockheads! ( I can’t forget you until I have all your money from the Pre-Order-Pocalypse!) So know that while Chuck will dominate this site Monday-Thursday, new Coffee Break cartoons will still arrive on Fridays, until they are replaced by the resuscitation of Deep Fried. And oh Lordy, if you guys thought you had seen the best of my worst, just you wait! Deep Fried will be crispier and oilier than ever, with dark and creepy shenanigans from Beepo, Roadkill and Squints that I shudder to think of. “NSFW” will soon mean “Not Safe For the World”!
Now fly! Fly, my monkeys! Tell the Princes and Potentates of the coming day of reckoning! Tweet the news to every Android in existence! Tweet! Tweeeeeeet!
God… My first week without a looming Weapon Brown deadline for me to ignore. I am feeling this intense sensation of euphoria and paranoia over it…!
Oh, wait… that’s from smoking my bong. Here–let me just put that away for the next fifteen five minutes.
What’s happening to me? I’ve never been a wake-and-baker! I mean, I should at least try it for a month (might give me some insights into Squints’ character), but I can’t be doing that now! Not with so many new responsibilities to take the place of the old!
Those of you who have actually returned this week (I would suppose my post-Blockhead’s War fan base can now be measured in the low teens) deserve a cartoonist who is on the ball and ready to jump right into the next stage of Internet amusement. I hope I can be that cartoonist! But we must let the slow-moving masses who haven’t read the final Weapon Brown strip arrive and be heartbroken, as you have been, so I will let this strip linger a bit longer. Coffee Break will begin on Wednesday, and I will have the schedule for the final issue of Blockhead’s War to give you then. Yay! I feel organized! Better celebrate with another hit…
By the way, thank you to all my new mailing list subscribers. If I’d have known that all it takes to harvest your valuable e-mails was to not publish Weapon Brown, I’d have cancelled it years ago!
So, the long awaited reveal of Garfield’s ass as the source of the shmoo has arrived. Like Christmas wrapped up in a birthday and tied up with a summer vacation bow! Where can I take Weapon Brown from here?
Well, we’ve all seen that I am the undisputed modern master of suspense, right? The answer should be obvious!
(This is my cruel, peel-the-Band-Aid-off-slowly way of telling you that …it is time for me to take a goddamn break!)
Now, wait…I know that about five hundred of you have already deleted this site from you bookmarks. Please stop panicking! It’s going to be alright, I tell you!!
Weapon Brown’s story is just on the cusp of getting super awesome, what with CAL-v.1N on his way and a really hot nocturnal encounter between Chuck and Anne virtually guaranteed. However, this strip has grown from a little 50-page aside to an epic that Peter Jackson couldn’t film if he had twelve lifetimes. In the meanwhile, several projects I had hoped to be in the middle of at this point have been cooling their heels in the Green Room, waiting for their time on stage.
And there’s a bunch of Weapon Brown-related things I’d like to be doing that Weapon Brown is interrupting! Things like getting this project in front of publishers, preparing the next issue of the comic book for consumption by you Blockheads, and banking a few week’s worth of strips. Clearly a hiatus is required.
So, the “Prestige” storyline will wrap next week (or possibly the week after if I decide to stretch), and then Weapon Brown will go to sleep until Monday, August 30th.
But will you be left high and dry? Hells no! Not only will I produce more frequent blogginz, but I will also be premiering a new comic feature called Coffee Break that will update on Fridays. I hope you will enjoy it, and accept it for the methadone it is meant as until Chuck returns.
Furthermore, next week I will officially be premiering the loooonnnnnng overdue Deep Fried #4! This issue will feature a new, never before seen Weapon Brown short called “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Weapon Brown”, created with you long-time fans in mind. I will also be launching the sale of an enormous quantity of Weapon Brown pages, available at extremely reasonable prices, for die hard fans who want to help me build my piggy bank for the next round of Weapon Brown products.
Lastly, I plan to keep you up to date on the projects I will be beginning during this hiatus, including sketchbook art and more. After all, you guys want a reason to stay attached to me like lampreys once Weapon Brown finally wraps, right?
So, I hope this does not disappoint too many fans, and please believe me that this is only a vacation. When Chuck returns, you will (in the words of another famous Mr. Brown) see some serious shit.
Please also take this time to join my mailing list! You will be alerted the moment Chuck returns, and as the recent Easter Egg hunt proved, being on the list gets you goodies you will wish you’d gotten later!
Neace out, Piggers!