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….

 

28 Days Later

by JY on October 15, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Posted In: Blogginz

I’ve got to hand it to the Little Movement That Could. As of last week I was among those who thought that this was another of those perennial noise parades that young leftists are great at starting but are usually only recollected when you find a DVD documentary of it on the New Release wall.

But from its humble beginnings on September 17th, the Occupy Wall Street movement has grown from a few naked folks demanding air time to hordes of smelly hippies sending the Short Hairs running to the store for underwear bleach.

And while history suggests that the modern liberal base does not have the organizational skills or the support in Washington to make a serious go of this, we are living in the age of surprises. If the cantankerous coots of the right wing could get off their pruney asses and briefly make Michelle Bachmann a contender for the Oval Office, how much more can we expect from these kids with all their supple cartilage?

Again, I do not want to get my hopes up. I was part of the frolic in NYC during the protests at the 2004 Republican Convention, and endured the same orange netting, aggressive cops and 36 hours in the clink, so I completely empathize with the OWS crowd. But from my distant pulpit I also behold the same things that caused the events of ’04 to add up to nought: a thousand complaints, no agenda, and a party atmosphere masquerading as unity.

I am encouraged, however, by some of the pluck these guys are showing. The Greek chorus they use in lieu of bullhorns is innovative and, from a superficial point of view, demonstrates that on some level these guys have their act together. I am also not falling for the media spin that the 99% don’t know what they stand for. They may not know how to articulate their common complaints for the camera yet, but in their hearts they know what brung ’em. Enough time together out in the cold will bring that glue to the surface or drive them back to their dorm rooms.

It is also interesting to note just how prickly the conservatives are over this. The moment the Occupy movement started spawning imitators in other cities the right wing swung into reaction mode. Even the normally sedate Canadians are crapping kittens. Scroll ahead to 2:50 to hear Kevin O’Leary on the CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange give guest Chris Hedges the Fox News treatment:

Obviously anyone offering a voice to the people Occupying their various cities, especially those who can offer a narrative that the public can digest, is going to be red meat for the sharks of corporate media. These unfolding events must have Anne Coulter dewey enough between the legs to grow mushrooms, and one can already predict the books she and her ilk will pen if this thing lasts even one week longer, with titles like “The One-Percent Solution” and “Curb Their Enthusiasm: A Conservative’s Guide to Curb-Stomping Street Protesters”.

But the real enemy, as always, is going to be the indifference of liberal politicians to this stirring within the nation’s slumber. Liberal pols flee from the likes of street protesters like vampires from the noon sun. They do not wish to treat with any sort of base that has concerns ranging beyond butt sex, lest they intimidate the wealthy  folks they too spend their weekends with.

In the long term, if the Occupiers want to do battle with the Tea Baggers and win, they will have to make common cause with them in realizing that the real problem is Democrats who won’t choose sides.

 

 

└ Tags: 99%, Anne Coulter, conservatives, Democrats, hippies, liberals, New York City, Occupy Wall Street, protest
5 Comments

My New Most Favorite Thing Ever

by JY on October 5, 2011 at 11:41 am
Posted In: Blogginz

11 Comments

Apple Movie Trailer Doppleganger Terrorstorm!!!!

by JY on September 21, 2011 at 1:03 am
Posted In: Blogginz

Am I going mad or am I saner than I have ever been?? Once again, Apple Movie Trailers is filled with so many duplicate images I feel like someone has tattooed fractals on my retinas! This is it people… all of Alex Jones’ prophecies are coming true! Once you see the evidence below you will understand why I have to kill Alex and usher him into Messiahhood faster than anticipated!

The Ides of March
Heavy Times
vs.

I trust I don’t have to explain this one to any of you. Come the Ides of March, we are all in for some heavy times (probably from the earth’s magnetic poles reversing!) The split-face imagery is merely a warning: truth is often confused with schizophrenia by those who have unplugged from the Spectacle!

 

Martha Marcy May Marlene

The Woman

vs.

Nietzsche was the first to  theorize that a woman’s lies accumulate in her womb and flow out with her menses. Still, Woman’s wickedness has long been constrained through the masculine authority of the letter M. The message here is clear: our nation’s alphabet is losing the Culture War! When the poles reverse our protective Ms will all invert and the She Beast will be set loose upon a nation of emasculated nancy boys!

Immortals
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
The Hunger Games
vs.
vs.

Stop, Hollywood! Don’t burn me anymore in the molten lava of your movie poster flame motifs! Your secret communiques have all been received! I am shaving my head and pouring Bac~Os in my ears just as you have instructed!

You can pretend you didn’t see what you just saw, but you can’t pretend that you aren’t in denial for pretending it! Grab your aluminum foil and meet me under the Main Street overpass when you are ready to face the truth! The Revolution can’t succeed without you! And remember: aluminum foil, not goddamn Cling Wrap!!

4 Comments

And the winner is… I mean, the Oscar goes to…

by JY on September 5, 2011 at 12:45 am
Posted In: Blogginz

The Great Weapon Brown Art Sale has accomplished its goal! As I predicted, my irresistible artwork proved irresistible to many of you, and the money dribbled in over the months at nearly the speed of a trickle! I’d like to thank everyone who participated, and hope that when our economy is done imploding and we are all living like animals, you find the artwork as tasty as it is beautiful.

Also, the winner of the kickin’ “Brown Lantern” artwork you see at the top of the page is none other than James Hibbs! Congratulations James. Enjoy your prize with a little soy sauce.

└ Tags: art sale, Brown Lantern, money, sarcasm
 Comment 

TMI

by JY on August 30, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Posted In: Blogginz

I decided to take my outrage at the Battleship movie more publicker and launched a thread on the Something Awful forums, asking people to suppose what other board game-to-movie adaptations might be in the works. There have been some amusing Photoshopped speculations. Take a look! Below is my own prediction.

 

…

Chicago and Baltimore were great shows! I was happy to meet so many of my fans face to face, and only wish that some of you would invest in some face cream. Here is a round-up of a few of my precious memories. As usual a slip of the tongue here, a misinterpreted glance there, and I suddenly found myself in hot water.

I’m not sure who this chick is dressed up as, but if I had to guess, I’d say she is portraying the Black Widow from Iron Man 2, but from an alternate universe where Scarlett Johnansson lost the role to Janeane Garafalo.
How did I upset this red raccoon pirate? HOW???
Ur-Blockhead Rene Castellano shows off his newest acquisition: the Blockhead’s War page with Alley Oop’s dick. Yep. He’s the one who finally went for it. Rene Castellano, folks.
I leered at Hit Girl and told her “I’d hit that!”, and got what I deserved.
These are mushroom soldiers from Super Mario Bros., dressed up as I don’t know what from Kingdom Hearts. The logo on my shirt is like a swastika in their world or something.
Nine times out of ten, promising that I will “swallow the soul” of my customer leads to a sale. Not this time, though.
Honestly, all I asked Gumby was if–being made out of clay as he is and being exposed to the air and all– he was getting hard . I think he deliberately misunderstood me.
You have to be careful what time of the month you choose for cunnilingus, Vision. She’s called the Scarlet Witch for a reason.
Please, don’t shoot! It’s not a come-on line! There really is an oven mitt on your shoulder!
Teabagged by Captain Underpants. Nice knowin’ ya, teaching career!

…

Finally, I met those crazy guys from Red Letter Media, the ones responsible for the Star Wars reviews I will describe to anyone who will listen like some alien-abducted Alaskan lumberjack, in Chicago. They graciously took a couple copies of Weapon Brown off of me and returned the favor by gifting me with a copy of their cool movie, a Gremlins/Critters/Ghoulies homage called Feeding Frenzy. And look! They even featured Weapon Brown in their post-con video. Thanks guys! As soon as I’ve got some weed I am watching the hell out of Feeding Frenzy. I mean, I’m sure it’s great without drug-enhancement, but I don’t want to miss out on its deeper significance.

“Well, this shit won’t sell. Maybe we could E-bay the painting.”
└ Tags: Baltimore, Captain Underpants, chicago, comic convention, Deadpool, Human Centipede, Kingdom Hearts, Scarlet Witch, teabagging, Vision
4 Comments
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