My signing at Forbidden Planet this past Wednesday was a thrill! Have you ever lugged 100lbs of future landfill around one of the most crowded cities on earth, occasionally dropping it down a flight of subway stairs? Thriiillllliiinnnng. Here are the highlights!
Forbidden Planet! Within this treasury of glories are wonders that would make any Mr. Magorium close up shop and move back in with his mother!Â
And here’s your hero, thumbs all a-uppin’, completely oblivious to the fact that soon he will be trying in vain to sell his book to people who have already decided to spend their disposable income on the original French graphic novel of Snow Piercer. (How the fuck was I supposed to know that was my competition?? I loved that movie!)
This man asked me to sign his book “To My Biggest Fan”. He also had me sign it on his penis, which was awkward because he already had Rob Liefeld’s signature tattooed there, and Rob really hogged the shaft.
Lobot is one of my biggest fans, but he better slim down if he wants to land a cameo in Episode VII.
This fellow hailed from China, and he kept politely asking me when I planned to “pay him back”. I said I didn’t know what he was talking about, and he gave me an address–
–which led to this giant computer that is apparently trying to calculate pi to its last digit. Sorry, chum! I guess some jokes just don’t translate!
This is Marcus, who was the inspiration for Hughie (really!) When I told him I had no plans for a Hughie tee he got a little upset at my throat.
It’s not just the comic market: whole families hate Weapon Brown!
I thought Mark here was Hulking out, trying to tear up my phonebook-sized tome! Actually, he was stroking out! (Sorry I didn’t call the paramedics faster, Mark! You look good with half your face paralyzed, though…)
Thanks to Jeff, Drew, Alec and the rest of the crew at FP for making my day a joy. As for the millions of New Yowkas who didn’t turn out to see me? Die of Ebola, bitches.
I’ve got to hand it to the Little Movement That Could. As of last week I was among those who thought that this was another of those perennial noise parades that young leftists are great at starting but are usually only recollected when you find a DVD documentary of it on the New Release wall.
But from its humble beginnings on September 17th, the Occupy Wall Street movement has grown from a few naked folks demanding air time to hordes of smelly hippies sending the Short Hairs running to the store for underwear bleach.
And while history suggests that the modern liberal base does not have the organizational skills or the support in Washington to make a serious go of this, we are living in the age of surprises. If the cantankerous coots of the right wing could get off their pruney asses and briefly make Michelle Bachmann a contender for the Oval Office, how much more can we expect from these kids with all their supple cartilage?
Again, I do not want to get my hopes up. I was part of the frolic in NYC during the protests at the 2004 Republican Convention, and endured the same orange netting, aggressive cops and 36 hours in the clink, so I completely empathize with the OWS crowd. But from my distant pulpit I also behold the same things that caused the events of ’04 to add up to nought: a thousand complaints, no agenda, and a party atmosphere masquerading as unity.
I am encouraged, however, by some of the pluck these guys are showing. The Greek chorus they use in lieu of bullhorns is innovative and, from a superficial point of view, demonstrates that on some level these guys have their act together. I am also not falling for the media spin that the 99% don’t know what they stand for. They may not know how to articulate their common complaints for the camera yet, but in their hearts they know what brung ’em. Enough time together out in the cold will bring that glue to the surface or drive them back to their dorm rooms.
It is also interesting to note just how prickly the conservatives are over this. The moment the Occupy movement started spawning imitators in other cities the right wing swung into reaction mode. Even the normally sedate Canadians are crapping kittens. Scroll ahead to 2:50 to hear Kevin O’Leary on the CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange give guest Chris Hedges the Fox News treatment:
Obviously anyone offering a voice to the people Occupying their various cities, especially those who can offer a narrative that the public can digest, is going to be red meat for the sharks of corporate media. These unfolding events must have Anne Coulter dewey enough between the legs to grow mushrooms, and one can already predict the books she and her ilk will pen if this thing lasts even one week longer, with titles like “The One-Percent Solution” and “Curb Their Enthusiasm: A Conservative’s Guide to Curb-Stomping Street Protesters”.
But the real enemy, as always, is going to be the indifference of liberal politicians to this stirring within the nation’s slumber. Liberal pols flee from the likes of street protesters like vampires from the noon sun. They do not wish to treat with any sort of base that has concerns ranging beyond butt sex, lest they intimidate the wealthy  folks they too spend their weekends with.
In the long term, if the Occupiers want to do battle with the Tea Baggers and win, they will have to make common cause with them in realizing that the real problem is Democrats who won’t choose sides.
