My Paetec travel mug is down to it’s last milliliter of precious brown ichor! I must complete this blog update  before the invigorating effects of the petroleum-analog that fuels America’s work force loses its potency and I de-Hulk into just another pathetic malcontent whose graying temples bespeak a youth squandered  in a deflating economic empire no longer capable of shaping world events for the better!! Oh my lord Coffee , you are all that is tying the frayed threads of the American dream together! But what if al China discovers this weakness? What nightmare will America tumble into then??

Just walk away from the foam dispenser!


Mitt Romney: for president? Hardee fuckkin’ har har! Please oh please let the GOP choose him! This will be like the Titanic times the Hindenberg to the power of Fukushima!  You thought Sarah Palin was going to torpedo the hopes and dreams of the Red States? Mitt will be the effin’ Death Star!

I can’t wait for month after month of Mitt trying to squirm out of responsibility for RomneyCare, the foundation of the Healthcare Reform Act that the Tea Baggers have sworn blood oaths to dismantle! This will be rich fare indeed!

Speaking of rich, isn’t Mitt number 282 of the 400 richest swine in history who are making out like bandits in this depression? It figures that the party that wants to eighty-six the unemployment benefits of 8-10 million jobless Americans would gravitate to a plutocratic Ken Doll like Romney. His father wanted to be president once upon a time, so there’s a whole daddy issue at work there as well. Oh, and his religion was founded by vampires (that’s the Bible Belt talking, not me).

All I’m saying is, we may as well start carving Obama’s face onto Mt. Rushmore now.

I mentioned Fukushima: do you realize that that shit is STILL GOING ON?? They’ve got something like 2 million tons of plutonium slowly melting down with no way to stop it! I thought the Japanese were batshit before, but wait until a generation Godzilla’s start crawling out from between their women’s legs! Hentai will be like My Little Pony compared to what Japanimation looks like then!

Speaking  of MLP, didja know it’s back, and kinda good? The animation is done by the same crew that produced Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, so it’s all computery and modern, and actually kind of charming. Okay, the morality lessons are sappy on the count of it being a girl’s cartoon… I already know not to use my magic wings to win an Iron Pony contest, thank you! But it still has enough appeal for this childless, full grown man to have watched it more than twice. I only does it for the gif animations, I swears!

d'oh! d'oh! d'oh!