Someone has been reading Weapon Brown… or else, I’m not the first person to imagine the humorous possibilities of a real-life Snoopy.
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I know that Betty White did a star turn on SNL recently, which I haven’t seen (too many episodes of Flash Forward to catch up with on Hulu, sorry), but I guess now she is also riding that wave into a movie called You Again with Kristen Bell and Sigourney Weaver in order to create some sort of tri-generational hipness engine.
Kristen Bell I only know by name– I don’t listen to country/western stations or watch the CW or whatever segment of media she hails from, so I am not equipped to rank her screwability. Sigourney, of course, is the world’s first confirmed genetic MILF, so the movie will have that much going for it. But my question is, is Betty White really the best exemplar of Greatest Generation sensuality Hollywood can give us?
I’m not knocking Betty, but you wouldn’t have to scout too many Country Kitchen Buffets to cast an octogenarian sex kitten hotter than her.  As long as we are supposed to imagine this cast as a potential  intergenerational menage, my vote would have been for Judy Dench in Betsy’s role. Dial “M” for muffin, baby. Better yet, Daryl Hannah! I know she’s not actually of that generation, but did you see her in Kill Bill? She’s looking a little haggard these days. My kind of haggard.
Every day that I see comments posted to my site fills my lungs with loving sunshine. So why is it so hard to get fan mail for the next issue of Weapon Brown out of  you??
Sure, I could repurpose your comments for the task, but our little Captcha banter just won’t translate to dead trees and ink. The new issue goes to press this week, peeps. Barrage me with your praise and questions or I pull the plug on this entire operation!
UPDATE: Thanks to everyone who finally got off their duffs to get down on their knees in front of me. I Â now have plenty of epistles for the new issue, but feel free to keep the love coming for Weapon Brown #4 or the next Deep Fried.
A Clarissa thread on 4Chan has yielded some intriguing new fan art, which has only further incentivized me to finish my new Clarissa story for the next edition of Deep Fried #4. Stare if you dare! WARNING: Some of these pictures are “please God NO!” appalling. NSFW or anywhere.
When I return from a hiatus a return with a vengeance! The next issue of Weapon Brown is approaching like an earth-killing asteroid, and only those who don’t pray for its celestial favor will be spared (don’t ask me, ask the Mayans).
In other words, I need me some fan mail to print! All epistles of praise and extreme praise will be welcome, but I’ll even accept modest criticism from those stinky retards who aren’t afraid to get a little in return. E-mail me and don’t dawdle! Letters page fame is the only enduring fame!
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I am extending the offer for  the Deep Fried #4 Fan Appreciation Issue one more month, until September 30th. For several weeks in August IndyPlanet, the printer that is handling the orders, was plagued by glitches courtesy of Chinese cyber-hooligans (that’s right, it’s alllll China’s fault). Consequently, a few people who tried to order this issue were viciously 404’d. But I want all who want this collectible issue to have it, so keep ordering until it works out!