I hit the road last weekend for Erie, Pensylvania to attend the Erie Library Comic-Con, only to find out that I had been tricked! I was led to believe that the convention was being held in Eyrie, PA, and I was greatly disappointed to find that the show’s location, Basement Transmissions, had no moon door through which I could make little men fly! (I did toss a few children out of a window, but it just wasn’t the same).

The deception was double, in fact, as I soon realized I had been lured from the safe harbors of my home in Snowflakia, New York  to hawk my wares in dreaded…Trump Country!

I made the best of a bad situation, but as usual, bodily injury was never more than a few costumed jerks away!

All dressed up and no place to go! But at least, for the first time in my life, I was color coordinated.


What button do I push to make you disappear, weirdo?


Spawn meets a jawa? Whatever… just so long as Ryan Reynolds plays you in the movie.


This little girl was so adorable! But then we got into a heated discussion about whether or not genre movies really needed more “strong female role models” or if that is just an excuse for liberal pandering, and to be quite honest, she turned into a straight-up bee-yotch.


I’m sorry! The “Boba Fat” joke was way out of line! (BTW, how’d you escape the sarlacc? Did’ja got stuck halfway down it’s throat??)


This dame puts the “leg” in “Legolas”! Oh… wait. You’re Link, aren’t you? Fuck. Just get out of my shot.


Wow! Half Logan, half Deathstroke! That makes you the most badass killer of all time! So… you gonna buy something or what?


“I sold my beard to buy you a hair pick! But… you sold your afro to buy me a bottle of beard oil?? OH THE IRONY!!”


KWAII! I’m sure your parents are charmed by your cosplaying!


And I’m sure YOUR parents wish they hadn’t scrimped and saved to pay for your college tuition, since you are obviously destined for a career at Delta Sonic! Hey, how much for a touchless wash, dork??


AAAARGH! Keep the change!