BALTIMORE! Of all America’s major cities, Only the name “Detroit” evokes more crotch-wetting! My entire time at the Baltimore Comic-Con was spent worrying that I might fall prey to race riot, be “Death Proofed” to death in the back of a paddy wagon, or become the latest victim of that wascally stick-up artist Omar! You would think that being surrounded by the world’s greatest heroes would put my mind at ease, but as usual, cosplayer haters gonna cosplayer hate!

There she is– my beautiful table at the 2015 Baltimore Comic-Con! I am hiding underneath the table, praying for deliverance from the blows which are sure to come.
This is Chuck, aka “Western Wonder”, aka “Brokeback Captain America.”
This year’s winners on “Naked and Afraid” are overcompensating in the wrong direction, methinks.
I love the She Hulk outfit, and the fella really nailed his Paul Walker costume!
Gkkk! Too…soon??
This is Master Roshi (left) and Mr. Satan. At least, that’s what they are called in the Japanese version of DBZ. In America, Mr. Satan is “Mr. Hercules”, and Master Roshi is “Master Tentacle Porn Addict”.
I thought these were tricker treaters, but they are actually some of our country’s patriotic Avengers who were in town on shore leave and looking for a good time.
…and what luck! Along came a pimp with a few superheroines of the night. (Careful ladies… the Hulk’s a freak!)
What has two thumbs, a goofy ass expression on their face, and will gladly hump any Leia, no matter how ridiculous?
This guy!
A little karma for implying that the Powerpuff Girls are hoors. I deserved it!!
The Baltimore Comic-Con is a lot like  Fhloston Paradise: the same sci-fi weirdos in preposterous costumes, but a lot more geek reek!
Regis Philbin ATTACKS!
“28 days, six hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. That is when the world will end.”
Napoleon Dynamite, meet Black Dynamite! Oh shit, my friend Jimmy “J.J.” Walker is going to be so pissed that he missed you guys!
Jason Vorheese has leveled up!
After this photo was taken, the poor lad on the right was mugged by some guy with a mustache. (Of course, why was the kid holding so many gold coins in his head? He knew he was asking for trouble!)
I like you as you are Fiona, but we’re never going to win the Poké Cup if you don’t evolve! Let me just apply this fire stone I’ve acquired…
BOOM! Fiona evolves to FURIOSA! (Aww… but you lost the socks? Those were hot…)

That’s all for now, space campers! My thanks to everyone who came by my table (especially the fans!) I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer, but as soon as I heard someone in the hall whistling “The Farmer in the Dell”, I knew it was time to book it.