Apocalypse poston December 29, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Merry post-Navida, humans. I am blogging to you today from New Year’s central, aka my fortified apocalypse shelter.
No mere fallout shelter this! I am the proud owner of a Judgement Day Deluxe, the only doomsday shelter endorsed by Tim LaHaye! Originally available only to the inner circle of the Trilateral Comission, the JDD is the last word in end times luxury. Nuclear or Mayan, there isn’t an apocalypse yet conceived that this baby can’t ride out!
Right now I’m sitting pretty behind 51 inches of osmium-reinforced concrete and enjoying the nectar of the most expensive urine-to-potable water converter ever to come out of the Netherlands (where they can taste urea at 1 part per trillion). I am fully stocked up on a 12-month supply of canned beans, rice cakes and armor-piercing bullets, and my entire set-up is safety rated against nine different types of horde, from radioactive cannibal to rage-addled, and three kinds of undead! New Year’s, do your worst!
My New Year’s preparations may seem a little paranoid, but I’ve been preparing for this since Y2K, our warning apocalypse. And now with the Nigerian “Taint Bomber” reminding us that pointless acts of murder are going to still be the rage in the new decade, and movies like 2012, The Road and The Book of Eli warning us that God’s finger is surely poised to poke us, I’m not rolling the dice on any more above ground New Year’s Eves.
Another Weapon Brown fan I’m not inviting in for coffee.
Oddly, these are the perfect circumstances for putting out a comic, since an interruption-free, cave-like environment is the womb from which great cartoons are birthed. And after the sky falls, I should have lots of awesome reference for drawing Weapon Brown! A few of you may even make it into the story as I sketch you skulking around mass graves looking for rats to eat.
The first order of business for the New Year will be, of course, completing Deep Fried #4. I have tantalized you recently with the promise of a December release, but it looks like I will have to bump this to January, since getting this product done right is going to require that extra few weeks of unanticipated commitment that makes freelance cartooning such a wrist-slitting joy. However, what won’t change is that special fans-only edition that I have promised, with a brand new Weapon Brown story available for a limited time. I know that you are licking your eyeballs for it, so keep the faith!
2010 will bring more than just Deep Fried and skin-melting sleet storms. Blockhead’s War will conclude this year, hopefully before the summer, in a power-packed final arc that will debut CAL-v.1N and HOBS, Chuck’s ultimate enemies. This throw-down was the point of the entire story right from the beginning, so you know that you are going to be getting masturbation-quality work out of me in the months to come. Those who have stuck around this long are not going to regret it!
Once Blockhead’s War wraps there will, of course, be the graphic novel, loaded with more googaws than the birthday booth at a Hard Rock Cafe. I can’t wait to begin designing it. You’d better warn the other books on your shelf that its coming.
Will this spell the end of comic joy on this website? Hell no! Beepo, Roadkill, Squints and some new friends will rise from the grave like so many gamma-irradiated deadlings to renew the joy that is Deep Fried! The comic with no shame will be sailing into some uncharted and hilarious waters as the gang each get some me-time and reveal facets of their personalities that you never wanted to know. Meanwhile, a new trade paperback collecting the second volume of Deep Fried is in the offing, featuring some never before printed material, including a new Clarissa story guaranteed to twist your emotions into pretzels of agony.
I’ve got some other things up my sleeve as well, but patience! You will know these things when I feel the time is right. In the meantime, feed. Feeeeeed…
Last item! For just the longest time I have wanted to have a proper name to refer to you Weapon Brown fans. Rather than try and yoke you with one of my own, I open the floor to suggestions! Who are you people? What is your kind called anyway? Throw some ideas into the comments section and let’s see what sticks!
In the meantime I’ll be checking my scanner for any reports of inbound missiles or Nigerians. Happy New Year, victims!