The Walt Disney company’s purchase of Marvel Entertainment this week apparently came as a surprise to Disney’s president and CEO Robert A. Iger.

“Really? We didn’t own Marvel already? Jesus, we own everything else. I just found a receipt for the Atlantic Ocean on my desk the other day,” said Iger . “But okay, great. We own Marvel. Just tell them to find something to do and stay the hell out of my way after I come back from cocktails.”

The sale of Marvel is being greeted with excitement by all those who look forward to the venerable comics company dropping any pretense of being in the comics business.

“Imagine if God gave himself an enema. That is the capacity we now have to shit merch into the world’s dollar stores!” said Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada over his TeamSpeak line in a game of EVE-Online. “We won’t have to put out these fucking floppies at all! Which is great news, since most of our customer base qualifies for Medicare.”

Reportedly, there will be a few cosmetic changes to Marvel’s iconic cast of heroes (see below). Qesada says that fans should not be bothered.

“Don’t like it? Fuck yourself with Mjolnir while I a go eat 50 lb. rib-eye served with a reduction of komodo dragon’s blood at Spago’s! I’ve got more money than the TARP fund now!”