There are two sure fire ways to experience the sensation of living in the Matrix: pop a fistful of Marinols and watch Groundhog Day with the sound off and Stairway to Heaven playing backwards on your stereo, or visit Apple Movie

At least, that’s the sensation I get when I see so many cloned movies masquerading under different titles. Observe this week’s selections:

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Morgan Spurlock: the man who proved that if you eat nothing but McDonald’s people will pay ten bucks to watch you throw it up, is now going to prove that our government is hiding an incredible secret. Indiana Jones: the man who will prove the government is hiding an incredible secret and then appear in McDonald’s ads until you throw up. COINCIDENCE???

The Hammer The Grand

Two ads for what appears to be Cheerios: the Motion Picture? The machines have definitely tipped their hand this time!

Sex and the City Wanted The Incredible Hulk
vs. vs.

Centered text against a black background might be seen as merely lazy. But each of these posters boasts a fade effect as a substitute for artwork. That’s two levels of laziness, which points to one overworked NSA agent who can no longer conceal the LIE!! Either that or these posters are part of the Mandelbrot Set.

I will continue to explore the mystery behind these Shyamalanian messages from the stars, but you should continue about your day as if the rational world were not a gossamer curtain that could fall away at any moment.