McDonald’s, who understands negores so poorly that they once implied that they’d fuck a cheeseburger, has finally  gotten their act together. No more embarrassing PR snafus that make Denny’s look like the Nation of Islam by comparison. McDonald’s has learned that in order to sell its chipotle chicken wraps to a proud people, it must, like the mighty Baobab tree, celebrate the African American experience 365 days a year!

They may be trying too hard though, if this new ad is any indication.

[videofile width=”320″ height=”260″]https://www.whatisdeepfried.com/MEDIA/McBlack.mp4[/videofile]

My long time cultists will remember that I was a bit more bloggy about the lunatics of the Right during the Bush catastrophe than I am today. It could hardly be helped, of course, as every news cycle brought a fresh insult to human reason and the White House became a soundstage for the faked moon landing that was the Bush presidency.

Leading the charge against sanity, of course, were those well known carnival atrractions, Hannity, O’Reilly, the evergreen Rush, that we all know and credit with being the vanguard of the end of media integrity. But I had to outgrow my loathing of them, since loathing is just another form of love. I simply could not afford to keep inveighing against such already well-punctured public dartboards and still keep a career going.

And yet once in a while, one of them still manages to pull away  from the pack and establish himself as a bona fide scumbag; a true to life spent condom peeled off the dick of a C-list pornstar, filled with the clotted spunk of genuine mental illness. That man is, of course, Glenn Beck.

If you aren’t familiar with Beck’s schtick, he stumbled upon a winning television formula some time ago in response to the over-abuse of rage that conservative televison schmucks in his field are famous for. Reversing the trend, he took a softer route. He started to cry.

These days, Glen can scarcely introduce himself without choking up. His PMS is as dependable as O’Reilly calling his guests “pinheads”. The world’s atomic clocks are calibrated by the predictability of Glen’s sobs.

And it has worked! Beck’s stock has risen fast among the uneducated, credulous twats who watch Fox News. His simulation of sincerity has even driven his audience of mongoloids off their couches en masse and into the town halls of America where, apparently, they have correctly anticipated that if hordes of Americans were to be euthanized for the crime of being millstones to the species, the needles would certainly seek their necks first.

So it was no surprise the other day when, on his show, the health care issue began to flow Glen’s tears. Health care being a serious topic that deserves scrupulous and intelligent dialogue, naturally out came the Nazi propaganda posters and the veiled reference to an Obama/Mengala pact signed in blood. Fine. Par for the course. But watch the video below, and see what Glen does at about 45 seconds

Wait…he just happened to come across a piece of Nazi PR while he was prepping for his show? Was it just lying around in his dressing room?

But here’s the real point: Glen Beck, the master of the most transparent false sentiment since the invention of bullshit, decided to bring his physically challenged daughter in on the act. Take a moment to let this sink in. Glen’s tears are, by definition, crocodile tears. He pumps them out on command for the delight of his audience five times an hour, for any reason, as a palette cleanser for rednecks who want to get in touch with their feminine side while remaining 100% American macho shitheads.

So what we are seeing is Glen crying fake tears for his daughter’s real pain. His own flesh and blood is just another prop in a performance that anyone with an IQ somewhere on the left side of a decimal point can tell is complete artifice.

This is the cunt that is swaying the debate on health care reform, to the point where parts of potential legislation are being struck out of the bill so as not to upset Glen Beck’s herd of cattle?

I am not lying: the health care reform act that is coming needs to empower a genuine panel of Nazi eugenicists to deal with Glenn Beck, and anyone who likes him, or looks like him, or shares his shoe size. Just to make sure his nightmares come true.

 UPDATE 8/31/09: You know, maybe I am being too hard on the guy. After watching this clip at HuffPo of Glenn Beck decrypting Obama’s evil master plan from a few random words, I flashed on Howard Beale (Peter Finch’s character in Network).  I was overcome with the notion that really, Beck is an anti-lunatic, caricaturing his own audience to their faces until they have the sense to realize that all they’re seeing on the screen is a man standing outside the bars of their own primate cage, aping their own simian grunts and gestures.

Beck is no  douchebag cum laude! Far from it! He is the escapee from Plato’s Cave, come to liberate the slaves if they will but see the shadows for what they are!!