Last weekend I spent several of the precious moments I have left on this planet sitting at a table at the inaugural Flower City Comic-Con, which was held in beautiful That City Where I Live (also known as Rochester, New York).

I made new friends, introduced many folks to the glories of my work and very nearly caused Farscape’s Gigi Edgly to miss her flight so that she could sign a last minute autograph for me (by the way, what’s a “frelling drannit”? ‘Cuz she called me that about three times).

But as always, the REAL fun was having my photograph taken with the costumed weirdos who invariably abandon their posts twirling cardboard signs in front of local Moneytrees to turn up at these shows. Unfortunately, their adorable costumes belied their violent natures.

Who would want to harm little ol’ me? Well, just about everyone it turns out.
Never mistake Snake Pliskin for Nick Fury! It’s not the beating you’ll get, it’s the twenty minute monologue he’ll deliver about objectifying his eye patch.
I said a little off the top, not a little of the top off! ARRRGGGHH!
That’s Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, and a human skeleton from… my body?? (glorp!)
“‘Peggy Carter?’ Never heard of her! Come on… you just got lazy with your Carmen San Diego costume, didn’t you? OOF!”
Aww, poor Lambchop. Without Shari Lewis she’s been reduced to doing open mics at coffeeshops, reciting slam poetry about her college lesbian encounters.
On the left, famous painter Joe Jusko. Hey Joe, how’d you like to do the cover for the next issue of PEEK? I can’t pay you, of course, but the exposure would be…
Alright, you win! Ten contributor’s copies, but that’s my final offer!
“Come father, let us embrace at last!” Kyoko from Madoka Magica was only too happy to reenact my favorite scene from Excalibur!
Since Weapon Brown is kind of a male Furiosa, it was only a matter of time before a girl version of Immortan Joe showed up. Of course, she didn’t like it when I asked her if she’d cosplay as my favorite character from Fury Road: that naked chick in the cage!
 Dalek Nyder, I have to know: what do you think of Weapon Brown??
I get it, I get it! It sucks!
…But enough of this butt-sniffing, you wussy R2 unit! Let’s see how you fare when I assume… MY ULTIMATE FORM!
Oh shit. You have an ultimate form too, huh? Um… can’t we all just get along?
Spider-Man and the Joker?? You two are working together now??
Check it: me and rising superstar Matt Lintz (of Pixels and the upcoming Free State of Jones). Hey Matt… I’ve got a screenplay that would just be perfect for Donkey Kong. Do you think you could introduce us??