I visit my website once a day and am saddened by how little I have been giving you! Since November there has been little time for me to devote to the comics, political screeds and clever what-nots that are the reason so many spam bots make Whatisdeepfried.com their preferred domain for laying their eggs.

Yet these days I am busier (and less well compensated) than a Malaysian garment worker, stuffing Weapon Brown into one padded envelope after another and lugging endless boxes of packages to the post office. My creative juices are coagulating into common elbow grease as I struggle to fulfill all my obligations!

Seriously,  I am worried that  I may not be painting this as exactly the hell that it is! I know that many of you think that the life of a cartoonist is something akin to that of Willy Wonka: days filled with whimsy and imagination, occasionally killing off a tour group of children. But Herr Wonka had an army of orange slaves to package his candy and ship it to Wal-Mart!  This allowed him to put up his feet, watch Arrested Development and come up with new ideas for how to shave a millimeter of thickness off of a Scrumdidilyumptiuous.

Not so I! I am a one-man slave plantation! Ooo, insensitive. Let’s try that again: I am a one-man Auschwitz! I have to hold my rifle in one hand and pull my own gold teeth with the other! But do not weep for me. Hard work is what built our country, so it will take a lot of hard work to destroy it, starting with our culture. If tearing down Charlie Brown takes a few beads of my sweat, so be it!

But really, I can’t wait until this is all done and I can devote myself to the creative angle again. At least I still have some time to embrace my inner child, however. Have a gander at the CAL-v1N Mighty Mugg I just finished customizing for one of my Kickstarter backer!  I will only have a little time to have him fight with my Chuck Mugg before they are both on their way to new homes, though. Now where did I put my Ree-Yees Star Wars figure? More importantly… whose side will he choose??