Shit has been bizonkers lately, and owing to a ton of stressful nonsense that fell in my lap all at once, I neglected to post a Coffee Break last week. Mea culpa, mi amigos. But you know how it goes when you take your car into the shop to get a lightbulb changed and you wind up on the hook for a $1300 brake job? It tends to drive cartoons from your mind.

Now, if I had a ride like this, my negotiating posture would be a lot stronger:

Vroom vroom!

This is a portion of some new artwork that will be in the Weapon Brown graphic novel (I don’t want you to forget that I am living and breathing all things “Chuck” until that day of final publication!) Nice, huh? Getting you excited? Maybe fiddling with your zipper a bit? Well, this is just the tip of the iceberg, folks! (although with global warming melting all the icebergs, this metaphor may no longer hold.)

Right now I am working on chapter break pages that chronicle the events leading up to the Last War, so prepare to have your unanswered and unasked questions answer-asked at last!

Now should also be a good time to let you know what the schedule is for my various and sundry projects. The Kickstarter for Weapon Brown will launch in September, right on schedule, so set your calendars. Of course, you are all being very polite by not asking every day “Where is Deep Fried, you promise-breaking futhermucker?” I assure you with every lying chromosome of my protoplasm that Deep Fried will return promptly once the Weapon Brown GN is in the can. I just have to admit that I can’t walk and chew bubblegum at the same time, and so tackling two projects at once is crazier than promising to testify against innocent philanthropist Whitey Bulger.

Also, Clarissa! Another project that is on hold until Weapon Brown is finished draining my life juices. I know a lot of you are clambering for her next adventure, and believe me, its a good one. You should believe me by now, because I’ve been saying it for fukkin’ years! But my wee little flower will be back soon as well. Trust me.

What else? Here… take a break from my work for a moment. I don’t hustle for my friends often enough, and Bob the Angry Flower is always good for a laugh. Here’s a recent one that made me laugh.

Okay, back to me. The project of mine that has advanced the least is The Garbagemen, my hoped-for next action comic. I still anticipate finding an artist to collaborate with for this, but it surely will not get off the ground until 2014. No probs! Once Weapon Brown breaks ever sales record ever set by Frank Miller and Alan Moore the talent will be lining up for me like XBone customers outside of a Gamestop!

Okay, gotta split. My little nephew turns four today and I have to decide how much of my weed to give him to be remembered as the “cool” uncle. Ta!