They called me mad, but once again, an outing to the Apple Movie Trailers website has revealed that Hollywood is being run by a supercomputer cloned from the brain tissue of Rod Serling and Phillip K. Dick. What else can explain the impossible coincidences below??

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

If you must see one movie about a shattered black sillhouette against a monochromatic field, I say make it Precious, if only for the Gollum jokes you will be able to crack.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Terminator Salvation

Man or Machine. In the future, which will look more stoic as they stand still with sparkly shit flying in the air around them?

vs. vs.

Nine! NINE! Are you going to tell me you don’t see it too?? It’s everywhere, man! The tinfoil isn’t keeping it out of my brain anymore!!


Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
District 9

I was frightened enough by those alien eyes peering at me from the shadows of the Transformers poster, and scared still more when I got a better look at the face those eyes belonged to. But then, look! It’s that number again! Open your eyes, people!!

What message is Hollywood trying to communicate to us? What will happen to our species if we ignore it? I will continue my investigation until the men with the magic earmuffs triangulate my position. Until then, keep your suicide capsules clenched firmly between your teeth!