It is rare for karma to deliver such a stinging rebuke to one of society’s proudest assholes, but such was the case this past week when the latest of our semi-annual school shootings was mitigated after a teacher talked the gun out of the would-be killer’s hands. This unusual example of God tipping his hand comes mere weeks after NRA spokesfuck Wayne LaPierre declared that “the ONLY thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”, after which he declared that the NRA’s response to  the Newtown massacre is to put a gunslinger in every school. At taxpayer expense.

If our president is wise, Ryan Heber will be in the gallery at this year’s State of the Union address. Twist the knife, Barry! (Oh Christ, now someone is going to whine about how more people are killed with knives than guns on the third Thursday of every month ending in “R” and why don’t we ban those too…)