Deep Fried-The home of Weapon Brown, Clarissa and Beepo
Weapon Brown 317
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Monday — July 28th, 2014

Weapon Brown 317

AZ Penetrates My News Condom!

For weeks now I have managed to deflect information about the world at large as though protected by a Holtzman generator (look it up!). However, news that moves slower than 9 cm per second can still reach me, and against my will I have learned that Harold Ramis has died (making him the second most selfish person preventing a new Ghostbusters movie, after Bill Murray), and that Arizona governor Jan “finger-in-the-face” Brewer just recently vetoed a law to prevent homosexuals from purchasing wedding cakes.

Farewell, sweet Barton Fink.

This is a pretty good track record as far as forced oblivions go. My bubble of ignorance is nearly as impenetrable as the GOP’s. Of course, that force field  is still solid enough to protect a Borg cube, or else how could this legislation have made it as far as the governor’s desk?

Jan has truly proven herself as the biggest Tea Party fraud since the original Boston Tea Party framed a bunch of Indians for their own vandalism (which probably caused the British to slaughter a whole village before the deception was uncovered). After all, This isn’t the first time Jan Brewer has had to veto some modern Nuremberg law that AZ’s Reichstag sent her way, while still claiming she is a  bulwark against Comrade Obama. The irony is that while the GOP pretends to be the party of small, heterosexual business, it is juggernauts like the NFL and Apple that brought her to heel.

Another bit of culture that has slipped through my driftnet is the emergence of a new Facebook holiday called “Throwback Thursdays”. While this has probably been around since 2002, I have only just heard of it today after seeing two mentions of it on on FB. Will this corporate phenomenon become the new Valentine’s Day? Christ, I hope not. I don’t think the Suicide Hotline could deal with me every Thursday!

Anyway, without knowing a goddamn thing about the concept behind this idiotic idea, here is my contribution: the opening credits to the awesomely progressive  80′s cartoon Bionic Six! From it’s multicultural ethos to it’s trumpeting of the “miracle of modern science”, it’s the biggest “fuck you” to Arizona I can think of!

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Newsorexia

earth_jason_shrugMy news fast continues, and after weeks of oblivionI have concluded that nothing at all is taking place in the world!

I would have thought by now that if anything at all that could possibly affect my life were transpiring in the known Universe, surely a dribble of it would have reached my ears in the nearly three weeks since I foreswore the News. And although the sad event of Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s OD did slip past my defenses, as well as the  the Fishhawks winning the Super Bowl, I now believe that the world is otherwise running like clockwork and has become an Eden of peace!

Certainly no one I know has disabused me of this notion. It turns out I was my friends’ only connection to that great River of Bullshit as well, useful on those days when they wanted a window into word events. No wonder my friends are always so happy. I’d love to be able to tune me the fuck out too!

Allow me to remind you of the world as it was when I transcended the earthly plane: Syria was a bubbling cauldron of blood and shit, Chris “The Only Un-Crazy Republican Left in Politics” Christie was taking it from every direction like the star of a bukkake video, a new Debt Ceiling showdown was looming, Congress was poised to torpedo our Iran negotiations, and the NSA was being given one of Obama’s trademark pat-on-the-head finger waggings.

How did these critical matters play out? Have any new topics of distraction arisen???????? You can see by my enthusiastic use of question marks that I have not completely lost interest in worldly events. I invite you all to post comments to this post that tease and tantalize me about the goings-on in the world without actually naming names or otherwise “spoiling” the story. Just give me a few crumbs so that when I emerge from my chrysalis in a few weeks like Rip Van Winkle I will be able to backtrack and see what you are hinting at.

I predict this is the way we will all be dealing with the 24-hour news cycle in the future! I’m a trailblazer! Spread the word! (Just not to me.)

New News and No News

Woot! The Weapon Brown graphic novel is now officially listed in the big ol’ Previews catalog that ships to every comic shop in the known Universe! Soon the world will get to enjoy what only you, the select few have known about for years! But it’s not too late! Run to your nearest shop and burn every copy of Previews you find! Why should you have to share me??

Anyway, the ad is on page 322, so tell your favorite comic monger to order a dozen copies or else the terrorists win!

(Wait… didn’t they win already? I mean, they obviously won in Iraq, but is that a “win” win? ‘Cause Iraq really had nothing to do with 9/11. Wait… why did we go to war with that country again? We didn’t go to war in Iraq just so that al-Qaeda could make that their new home and start popping off car bombs every few days, right? ‘Cause that is definitely what’s going on there, and I’m just…. a bit confused… how much did that war cost again…?)

Sorry for that digression! These are the sorts of questions that occur to you when you take a break from having your brain worked like a speed bag by the news. Yes, I am currently in the midst of News Fast 2014! A “news fast” is something I do every now and then where I disconnect entirely from the news media in all its forms to remind myself that A) the news is never good, so why bother? and B) There’s not a goddamn thing I can do with the information I get from the news, because Syria and John Boehner just don’t give a rat’s ass about me, despite all the chocolates I send them.

This also means that  in a few weeks I may find that the Tea Party has committed mass suicide and that “Madea Loses Her Legs to Diabetes” won Best Picture. What an awesome surprise to discover so much about the past at once! Of course, if aliens invade earth I probably won’t be able to tune that out. Then again, we’ve all gotten good at tuning out that Iraq business, so who knows?


Warning: graphic content!

If you think I’m sitting around smoking dope all day like a one man State of Colorado instead of working on new comics, then you’re half right! Here’s a page from the new short story that will be in the graphic novel! 

wbeaster

This site will also have  a fancy new Weapon Brown section soon (only a few years overdue), and then mark your calendars, because the book goes on sale in April!

Now where’s that bubbler o’ mine…?

Tootin’ My Own Horn

Comic Book Resources has an article up about how crowd funding is changing the face of the comics market. Among the stats featured are those showing Weapon Brown crushing it in November as the fifth most funded comic book campaign that month! And where did the Noam Chomsky graphic novel wind up? Thirty-fourth! Sorry Noam! That’ll teach you to shit all over capitalism!

The director of “Always” has seen my shirt!!

(Okay, well… Steven is looking in the other direction, but he might have caught the reflection in one of his Oscars. Photo courtesy of Peter Podgursky)

Forward to Forever!

The New Year approaches, but I don’t want to say goodbye to 2013! When will I ever again have a year as triumphant as this one? I do not refer to my earthquake of a Kickstarter campaign but to the fact that I at last fixed the busted deadlatch on my basement door! Now the damn cat can’t get down there to pee in my laundry basket! On top of that, I also cooked up a novice caramel sauce for the first time that wasn’t half bad! 2013, you were all that was magic!

That fix-it job on my door also yielded an interesting bit of whimsy. When I unscrewed the plate from the door, what should fall out from behind it but the head of a safety pin and a little plastic googly eye! What the frig? Did someone stick those there just for the moment when a futurian like me would need to fix the doorknob? Was it a spur of the moment time capsule? Hmm… I may need to pay that forward. In the meantime, free googly eye!

Stare into my eye!!


This is the time of year where I make all the resolutions I will break as far as new projects and products you can expect from me in the new year. In 2013 my plans were grandiose indeed! As it turned out, preparing the Weapon Brown Kickstarter  swallowed up virtually every particle of my time. Even now, when I should be free of that beast, Weapon Brown continues to swall0w my every moment like a bulimic Galactus (please don’t call the simile cops on me). But with a fresh new googly eye I can stare into the future of 2014, and with no Mesoamerican prophecies to stand in my way I can now give you…

 

AGENDA 2014!!

Suicide Note #3

My very-occasional Deep Fried mini comic series will see another installment released this Spring featuring YES, AT LONG LAST, I’M NOT LYING TO YOU THIS TIME, SCOUT’S HONOR WITH FUKKIN’ NEEDLES IN MY  EYES the much anticipated new Clarissa story Take Me to Work Day. This will be the first printing of my new Clarissa story , so be prepared to jump on this item like a bulimic Galactus on a Milkbone when it is offered!

What's a few years delay between friends?

Deep Fried

This web site is called “What is Deep Fried (dotcom)”, right? So where’s the goddamn Deep Fried?! You can blame stupid, marketable Weapon Brown for the long absence of Beepo, Roadkill and Co., but they have always been on my mind, and they will, WITH ALLFATHER ODIN AS MY WITNESS, return in glory to this website by the summer. If anything my experience with Kickstarter (I mention that a lot, don’t I? What can I say? I’m gauche!) has shown me that there may be a future for the adventures of my tactless hellions after all!

I am planning to release the second volume of Deep Fried in a bound trade as I did with the first volume, so there may be a Kickstarter upcoming for that. But what I am most looking forward to are the new comics! A return dip in the cesspool of Deep Fried has always been my post-Weapon Brown goal, and my agenda includes new print and digital editions of the comic books which will (knock wood!) all be delivered in fruit-blasted COLOR!

The Garbagemen

Still bouncing around in my brain is this hoped-for project, a sarcastic action-mystery that takes shots at 90′s comics, the Hollywood superhero trend and post-9/11 America. I will be prepping for this during 2014, but it is not likely The Garbagemen will see print in the coming year. However, as my plans shape up I will keep you all in the loop! I still intend for this be my next adventure-style project to follow up Weapon Brown.

gmen_panelI ask you, does this not seem like a formula for a year of excellent time-frittering? I hope your own coming year is filled with as many half-baked schemes as mine! But oh, the ones I haven’t mentioned…! (Too soon, too soon. Still gotta buy the fertilizer…)


Stuff Your Face!

You’ve waited forever and a half for this, now behold! The Stuffed Friend animated cartoon is finally live and free on the Interwebnet! Robot Chicken? There’s the door!

Leave Me Alone!

Why do people keep sending me cartoons about Peanuts in other, wackier contexts? I have no affinity for the work of Charles Schulz, but if I did, I would be outraged that people were besmirching it’s timeless, sweet-natured gags! FOR SHAME!

Jason’s Thousands

At last the moment I have held my breath for has arrived! The money from my Kickstarter  has been deposited in my bank account! I am no longer merely a hypothetical success! The precious numbers have officially teleported from one open browser window to another, and that 1000px journey is the difference between imagination and cold hard cash! Ah, commerce!

More importantly, if I blow all that beautiful green paper on an outrageous vacation to Australia to run naked through the Outback covered in eucalyptus oil while the koalas lick me clean, it will now be fraud instead of my oldest masturbation fantasy!

My life is now like Richard Pryor’s in Brewster’s Millions. I have to spend as much of my loot as I can this month for it to count towards business expenses in 2013 and not caviar money. So,  that means buying T-shirts, sketchbooks, ad space, nipple implants, stickers and magnets as fast as I can! Holy shit!…  I still have to put out a graphic novel too!

You know what? This is just too much responsibility! I’m a hobo at heart! Folks, just… take back your money JUST KIDDING! I’m an artist, not a hedge fund manager ONLY KIDDING! This was a fun experiment, but it’s too much for a simple country cartoonist like me to handle SHUT YOUR HOLE! I WANT TO FEEL A KOALA’S VELVET TOUNGE ON MY NECK!!

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