Potholes Ahead!
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Wednesday — October 8th, 2014

Potholes Ahead!

You deserve more of my love!

I visit my website once a day and am saddened by how little I have been giving you! Since November there has been little time for me to devote to the comics, political screeds and clever what-nots that are the reason so many spam bots make Whatisdeepfried.com their preferred domain for laying their eggs.

Yet these days I am busier (and less well compensated) than a Malaysian garment worker, stuffing Weapon Brown into one padded envelope after another and lugging endless boxes of packages to the post office. My creative juices are coagulating into common elbow grease as I struggle to fulfill all my obligations!

Seriously,  I am worried that  I may not be painting this as exactly the hell that it is! I know that many of you think that the life of a cartoonist is something akin to that of Willy Wonka: days filled with whimsy and imagination, occasionally killing off a tour group of children. But Herr Wonka had an army of orange slaves to package his candy and ship it to Wal-Mart!  This allowed him to put up his feet, watch Arrested Development and come up with new ideas for how to shave a millimeter of thickness off of a Scrumdidilyumptiuous.

Not so I! I am a one-man slave plantation! Ooo, insensitive. Let’s try that again: I am a one-man Auschwitz! I have to hold my rifle in one hand and pull my own gold teeth with the other! But do not weep for me. Hard work is what built our country, so it will take a lot of hard work to destroy it, starting with our culture. If tearing down Charlie Brown takes a few beads of my sweat, so be it!

But really, I can’t wait until this is all done and I can devote myself to the creative angle again. At least I still have some time to embrace my inner child, however. Have a gander at the CAL-v1N Mighty Mugg I just finished customizing for one of my Kickstarter backer!  I will only have a little time to have him fight with my Chuck Mugg before they are both on their way to new homes, though. Now where did I put my Ree-Yees Star Wars figure? More importantly… whose side will he choose??


calvin_mugg

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Coffee Break: Sphinx.com

My Books Are Now REAL!!

You doubted! You scoffed! You said “Jason, you cannot put something as awesome as Weapon Brown under one cover, publish it and get yetis to pose with it!” 

OH YEAH??

yeti1

yeti2


There it is! Weapon Brown, the graphic novel, realized at last! It was a long journey to pass this book through the birth canal of my brain, but I am glad you all have been along for the ride!

book2

Coffee Break: Godzillionaire

Clarissa Ruins My Day

Well how do you like that? After years of putting poor Clarissa through one torment after another, the little dear struck back at me by placing herself underneath a cup of tea just as I was spilling it!


clarisssa_oops
Farewell, half-finished page! As for you, Clarissa, you are about to regret that I’ve watched Human Centipede…

 

Coffee Break: Paramedic Cop

Fan-tastic

My glory keeps being reflected back upon me wherever I turn! First this selfie by a satisfied T-shirt purchaser…



selfie

…And then this piece of fan art by a former pupil of mine, who has since turned to the dark side , for which I am very proud, as the class I was teaching was called Introduction to the Dark Side:

 


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(I think that’s supposed to be me, with the glasses and the hunky guns.)

For those of you who have only loved me with money through my wonderful pre-order sale, your heroism will be remembered in my soon to be chiseled Tomb of the Unknown Customer (anyone who would like to volunteer for internment should contact me anonymously).

Whew!!

I have been a very,very, bad girl, Gaga. Many an obligation, aggravation and inebriation is to blame for the fact that I have not posted a Coffee Break in the past two weeks (and I know that those gleanings from my MAD magazine reject pile are the reason you even get out of bed on a Friday, so I accept my responsibility for the nation’s .002% increase in suicides this past month. Sorry, bereaved love ones!)

This past week has been a special pain in the ass, as Whatisdeepfried.com was hacked by some of society’s notorious scum for the purpose of advancing God knows what agenda (all signs point to some sort of bike helmet cartel). This attack brought my site down several times, until my web host apparently pinpointed the problem. So, knock wood, everything should run smoothly from now <–coderip_log_6543 GIRO BIKE HELMETS 20% OFF ALL THIS WEEK!! **this site haxxed by BlackFl4MEoftheN0RtH–FuK_yOr_SeKurtiteez!!–>

I have also been under a lot of strain from doing all the things that fall out of being a Kickstarter kingpin, from arranging convention appearances and signings to shipping products and running sales. Oh how I wish there were more hours in the day…so that I could use them for sleep! As it is, rolling out of bed every day at 11 AM to get to work after a few hours of Netflix has given me a real empathy for the lives of West Virginia coal miners. We are the 99%!

In any event, I’ve had a lot of balls in the air and the past week has made me feel like a double amputee. I aim to have my shit together for the coming week, and at the very least this means getting  new cartoons posted on Fridays! Bear with me!


News Flash: There are other Kickstarters besides mine!

I am pals with the folks behind the Stairwell Believers Kickstarter campaign going on right now, and I love their creativity! Okay, okay, stay with me… first watch this video they created about the mysterious Escherian Stairwell…

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WAS NOT SO AWESOME?? Now visit their Kickstarter!

Please spread this around, too!

 

Coffee Break: Smug