Chuck and Anne have taken the day off to enjoy some shmoo together for Thanksgiving (no one remembers what a real turkey tasted like, so the best they can conjure is a shmoo tofurkey). In the meantime, enjoy this perennial Deep Fried classic and ask yourself: “How can I make MY Thanksgiving more special?”

Here it is! As promised, the first installment of my Occupied! cartoon series for the Rochester City Newspaper.

Frank Miller, the genius behind Bat Man: The Dark Night Returns and Sin City (also the declining genius responsible for 300 and the jaundiced hack to blame for The Spirit) recently posted a blog condemning the Occupy movement. This follows a previous blog in which he touted his latest work, Holy Terror, as unapologetic anti-muslim “propaganda”.

I have no objection to Frank Miller’s politics. He has always hinted at certain reactionary leanings. Still, it is puzzling that the man responsible for turning DC Comics’ biggest poofter, Batman, into the world’s most well-known dissenter (for what else is an angry vigilante?) should feel such such strong negatives towards the Occupiers. They are, after all, engaging in the legal form of retaliation Miller has always endorsed when it took the form of violence.

“The “Occupy” movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment.” Miller writes, slurring his text.” “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.”

How did the author of America’s favorite antiheroes wind up sounding like Abraham Simpson with a hemorrhoid? Marv, the chiaroscuro star of Sin City, was never ashamed to grind the faces of high society’s phonies into the asphalt. Back in the real world, however, asking that the richest scions of Mammon be held accountable for devastating the economic fortunes of roughly one billion people exceeds the threshold of a cartoonist who would normally recommend removing the kneecaps of a common purse snatcher.

Perhaps it is because Occupy has adopted the Guy Fawkes mask made popular by comic writer Alan Moore as its symbol instead of a Batman halloween mask, the kind with a slit for a mouth. If anyone knows which lounge/casino Frank Miller spends his mornings passed out in, can they ask him if this is what it will take to win him over?

I am now free to report that the molesting of my comic strip schedule is completely unrelated to Joe Paterno, but can be blamed on Occupy Wall Street.

I am covering Rochester, NY’s Occupation movement in a series of comic strips for the City Newspaper, Rochester’s premier alt weekly source for arts, politics and 99¢ parmesan chicken wing coupons for Cobb’s Hill. This has required me to go deep undercover to earn the movement’s trust so I can mooch their coffee and donuts. And also learn stuffs.

The first strip will run next week, and everyone of you who has wondered if sleeping in a park as part of a nationwide political stampede might be a nice alternative to watching Desperate Housewives is urged not to miss it! I will of course post a link here.

I should be back to the Monday/Thursday schedule by next week. Until then, there’s a sleeve of the People’s Girl Scout cookies calling my name.

Hi gang! (Oh, and hello Mrs. Gang. You look lovely today). I just want to let you folks know that my strip updates over the next couple weeks may not adhere to the regular schedule of Monday/Thursday. I will still be doing two a week, but now those posts may occur on unpredictable days. Monday/Tuesday, Tuesday/Sunday…. who knows how I what I will be trying to get away with??

I apologize in advance, and promise that this will not last long. A few schedule-floobing things have fallen into my lap, and I will have to do some juggling to accomplish everything I need to for the next fortnight or so. Thank you for your patience.

I’ve posted a new entry for Weapon Brown’s Pen Pals, and look! The Mad Magazine blog just posted one of my Scooby Don’t! cartoons. So I guess we’re talking residuals, right guys?

Guys? Mr.Neuman? Sir?

I’ve got to hand it to the Little Movement That Could. As of last week I was among those who thought that this was another of those perennial noise parades that young leftists are great at starting but are usually only recollected when you find a DVD documentary of it on the New Release wall.

But from its humble beginnings on September 17th, the Occupy Wall Street movement has grown from a few naked folks demanding air time to hordes of smelly hippies sending the Short Hairs running to the store for underwear bleach.

And while history suggests that the modern liberal base does not have the organizational skills or the support in Washington to make a serious go of this, we are living in the age of surprises. If the cantankerous coots of the right wing could get off their pruney asses and briefly make Michelle Bachmann a contender for the Oval Office, how much more can we expect from these kids with all their supple cartilage?

Again, I do not want to get my hopes up. I was part of the frolic in NYC during the protests at the 2004 Republican Convention, and endured the same orange netting, aggressive cops and 36 hours in the clink, so I completely empathize with the OWS crowd. But from my distant pulpit I also behold the same things that caused the events of ’04 to add up to nought: a thousand complaints, no agenda, and a party atmosphere masquerading as unity.

I am encouraged, however, by some of the pluck these guys are showing. The Greek chorus they use in lieu of bullhorns is innovative and, from a superficial point of view, demonstrates that on some level these guys have their act together. I am also not falling for the media spin that the 99% don’t know what they stand for. They may not know how to articulate their common complaints for the camera yet, but in their hearts they know what brung ‘em. Enough time together out in the cold will bring that glue to the surface or drive them back to their dorm rooms.

It is also interesting to note just how prickly the conservatives are over this. The moment the Occupy movement started spawning imitators in other cities the right wing swung into reaction mode. Even the normally sedate Canadians are crapping kittens. Scroll ahead to 2:50 to hear Kevin O’Leary on the CBC’s The Lang & O’Leary Exchange give guest Chris Hedges the Fox News treatment:

Obviously anyone offering a voice to the people Occupying their various cities, especially those who can offer a narrative that the public can digest, is going to be red meat for the sharks of corporate media. These unfolding events must have Anne Coulter dewey enough between the legs to grow mushrooms, and one can already predict the books she and her ilk will pen if this thing lasts even one week longer, with titles like “The One-Percent Solution” and “Curb Their Enthusiasm: A Conservative’s Guide to Curb-Stomping Street Protesters”.

But the real enemy, as always, is going to be the indifference of liberal politicians to this stirring within the nation’s slumber. Liberal pols flee from the likes of street protesters like vampires from the noon sun. They do not wish to treat with any sort of base that has concerns ranging beyond butt sex, lest they intimidate the wealthy  folks they too spend their weekends with.

In the long term, if the Occupiers want to do battle with the Tea Baggers and win, they will have to make common cause with them in realizing that the real problem is Democrats who won’t choose sides.

Am I going mad or am I saner than I have ever been?? Once again, Apple Movie Trailers is filled with so many duplicate images I feel like someone has tattooed fractals on my retinas! This is it people… all of Alex Jones’ prophecies are coming true! Once you see the evidence below you will understand why I have to kill Alex and usher him into Messiahhood faster than anticipated!

The Ides of March		Heavy Times
	vs.

I trust I don’t have to explain this one to any of you. Come the Ides of March, we are all in for some heavy times (probably from the earth’s magnetic poles reversing!) The split-face imagery is merely a warning: truth is often confused with schizophrenia by those who have unplugged from the Spectacle!

Martha Marcy May Marlene		The Woman
	vs.

Nietzsche was the first to  theorize that a woman’s lies accumulate in her womb and flow out with her menses. Still, Woman’s wickedness has long been constrained through the masculine authority of the letter M. The message here is clear: our nation’s alphabet is losing the Culture War! When the poles reverse our protective Ms will all invert and the She Beast will be set loose upon a nation of emasculated nancy boys!

Immortals		Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance		The Hunger Games
	vs.		vs.

Stop, Hollywood! Don’t burn me anymore in the molten lava of your movie poster flame motifs! Your secret communiques have all been received! I am shaving my head and pouring Bac~Os in my ears just as you have instructed!

You can pretend you didn’t see what you just saw, but you can’t pretend that you aren’t in denial for pretending it! Grab your aluminum foil and meet me under the Main Street overpass when you are ready to face the truth! The Revolution can’t succeed without you! And remember: aluminum foil, not goddamn Cling Wrap!!

The Great Weapon Brown Art Sale has accomplished its goal! As I predicted, my irresistible artwork proved irresistible to many of you, and the money dribbled in over the months at nearly the speed of a trickle! I’d like to thank everyone who participated, and hope that when our economy is done imploding and we are all living like animals, you find the artwork as tasty as it is beautiful.

Also, the winner of the kickin’ “Brown Lantern” artwork you see at the top of the page is none other than James Hibbs! Congratulations James. Enjoy your prize with a little soy sauce.