The mist clings to the ground, obscuring the glistening, bony ribs of the cave floor. Condensation forms inside your space helmet as your breathing quickens. No one on the skyhook attached to the surface above you has ever descended this deep into the Internet. No one dared. Suddenly, a gust of air from deep in [...]

Looky! Jazma Online has an interview with me. I seem to remember them doing an interview with me back when I began this site in 2000. Am I in a wormhole or something?

Thursday, speaking at the George Bush Presidential Library, Mitt Romney–governor, billionaire, Mormon– took the lectern and assured a confused Christian Republican base that although we may wear different underwear, Christ alone girds our loins. “Today, I wish to address a topic which I believe is fundamental to America’s greatness: our religious liberty. I will also [...]

The cool, well groomed young men at the Comic Book Noise podcast have featured me in their Indie Noise segment. Prick up your ears and listen to my custom-designed self promotion 25 minutes into their program (okay, listen to the whole thing, but pay special attention at minute 25). By the way, that music is [...]

If you have had your faith in cinema eroded by years of high-velocity movie trailers that cut and splice all the movie’s best bits, creating what appears to be pure nitroglycerin out of the Aquafina the studio committees have passed through their bladders, Hollywood has finally heard you. View this trailer for Ice Cube’s upcoming [...]

Feel like you need an intense rush of addictive cinnamon excitement?? Er, I mean…are you ready to quit smoking over a period of twelve years? Then chew what all the sexxxxy young adults are chewing ! Um, that is to say…methadone maintenance just got a brand new ad campaign. Try NEW Nicorette Action-Flavored sports gum! [...]

My girl Eva Hopkins (sweet, sexy, pink…you’ve seen her) is the demoness responsible for writing Image Comics upcoming vampire brat comic Dark Ivory (with art by the insurmountable Joe Linsner). It is available for order in this month’s Previews catalog (available at comic shops), which features an interview with Eva as well. OR, you could [...]

Deep Fried fan par excellence Elka Bong has done the next best thing to purchasing all of my back stock: She has ruined her flesh in my name! Thank’s to Elka’s alcoholism and poor choice in friends, Beepo will be juggling kittens on her shin forever! My only hope is that someday Elka falls over [...]

Hasbro has begun running a series of meta-ironic magazine ads for their classic G.I. Joe masculine indoctrination toys from the 80s. Yes, they have finally caught on to what that snickering over “knowing is half the battle” was all about. (Click the pictures for full size) Retro-hip kind of loses its fizz when the product [...]

My boy and America’s sweetheart Matt Taibbi was on the Colbert Report the other night discussing the primaries. Matt’s the smartest voice in campaign coverage, and one of the funniest. View him with eyeballs!!I have also posted a thoughtful essay in my Touch of Ego section about a novel counter-propaganda campaign that anyone can participate [...]