Boy-o Meets World Below are the priceless entries for my prizeless caption contest. Taking a series of panels from a classic seventies issue of Iron Man, I assembled a scenario in which Iron Man's rage-filled, drop-jawed Irish pal Kevin O'Brien is assigned to read for the lead role of Shamus Kilblarney in an upcoming film sequel, Fast3r and Furious3r. The entrants were to fill in the available word balloons with their own dialogue and take advantage of Kevin's agonized facial acrobatics in the process. The winner could, in theory, mail their entry to Marvel Comics and, if they also had a pre-existing career writing for TV or film, possibly angle for a job scribing an X or Spider title. As you will see, almost no one paid attention to the scenario I laid out, and the third panel was mostly wasted space as far as the contest's budding Hemingways were concerned. Fortunately I grade on a curve. I can't go Simon Cowell on anyone else's work until I find out how to turn a buck in this industry myself. Anyway, I'm sure one of the entries below will one day be remembered as someone's big break into comics. I hope that person will pay my nursing home bills out of gratitude. Paul Angielski makes maximum comedic use of Kevin's gaping maw as well as a well-timed Yul Brenner reference. But please, a cigar up the ass joke? I hope no one else follows Paul's lead. Tananda, whose name is the Sioux word for bison, apparently drinks from the same gutter as Paul. He also seems to believe that Kevin's mother is Miss Cleo. Drewid of the Overbuild, ruler of North Carpathia, shames himself in panel 1 by accidentally assigning a word balloon to Kevin that is actually part of the director's bubble. Phone call for you, Drewid. No, not Hollywood. Hollywood Video. Return Milo and Otis or they'll break your tibia. Greg Hinkle shows off his mad skillz by finally making good use of panel 3! East side represent, Greg! Ian paid attention to the assignment and remembered to mention motorcycles. He also made sure to keep the focus on Kevin's Irish heritage and is the only one to mock Kevin's beard. However, Ian went and used the word "wazoo", which to a person of Irish descent is the equivalent of calling Sammy Davis Jr. a jigaboo kike cyclops. Hatred is uncool, Ian, even when it's directed at dirty micks. No points for you. next