Jason’s Thousandson December 12, 2013 at 1:06 pm
At last the moment I have held my breath for has arrived! The money from my Kickstarter has been deposited in my bank account! I am no longer merely a hypothetical success! The precious numbers have officially teleported from one open browser window to another, and that 1000px journey is the difference between imagination and cold hard cash! Ah, commerce!
More importantly, if I blow all that beautiful green paper on an outrageous vacation to Australia to run naked through the Outback covered in eucalyptus oil while the koalas lick me clean, it will now be fraud instead of my oldest masturbation fantasy!
My life is now like Richard Pryor’s in Brewster’s Millions. I have to spend as much of my loot as I can this month for it to count towards business expenses in 2013 and not caviar money. So, that means buying T-shirts, sketchbooks, ad space, nipple implants, stickers and magnets as fast as I can! Holy shit!… I still have to put out a graphic novel too!
You know what? This is just too much responsibility! I’m a hobo at heart! Folks, just…
take back your money JUST KIDDING! I’m an artist, not a hedge fund manager ONLY KIDDING! This was a fun experiment, but it’s too much for a simple country cartoonist like me to handle SHUT YOUR HOLE! I WANT TO FEEL A KOALA’S VELVET TOUNGE ON MY NECK!!