Goodbye Yellow Brick Roadon December 4, 2013 at 1:24 pm
My precious website, how I have missed you! I’ve been spending so much time with that dolled-up Kickstarter site that you may think I have forgotten the dirty old whore who got me to where I am. But I could never forget you, my scrappy site. With all the crow’s feet of your coding glitches and your gloppy CSS mascara, you are still the only website for me.
WIDFdotC, you do not have the pizazz of Kickstarter, that Las Vegas casino where the foolish dump their money and their seed into one waiting slot after another. Instead you are the cozy, dingy saloon that lured in so many prospectors over the years to witness the burlesque of my cartoons for the first time. Yes, then Kickstarter came along and gave those grizzled nomads a taste of the big city highlife, but here is to where they will all return. Your warm hooch and player piano ditties (not to mention that soft cot in the pantry) are what make you the place tens of dozens of people call “home”. And though that mean old bank up the street keeps threatening to call in your mortgage, you’ll pull through somehow. You always do.
(Thanks to your connections with the local opium concern.)
So… man! I wish I could spend some time swimming around in all my gold coins, but there’s just too much to do! if I though the stress of the Kickstarter was going to end with the Kickstarter, I was smoking too much (or not enough) of those choice green nuggets that the majority of my haul will eventually be spent on! Now I’ve got to mail surveys, compile mailing lists, negotiate prices and hunt Ukranians through the streets of Cleveland (the last thing I expected!)
Suffice to say, success is a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone! Success is a cheap fraud foisted on our culture’s consumer zombies! So send me more of your money and unburden yourself from the chains of success! Let ME take up your sins!!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just wade in my gold coins up to my knees before going back to my plow.